How SHOCKing!

Well, since I don't where to start, I guess I'll just start here.

I'm back in Alabama. Some days I am missing Poland something terrible (that sounded like an Alabama way of saying it.) Other days I'm really happy to be back for awhile. I guess that's how it works.

For now I guess I can chronicle my cultural readjustment. Honestly, when I went to Poland, I didn't have much of the traditional and expected "culture shock" that missionaries learn and hear so much about. I can completely understand why some people go through that, especially since they are going to places SO foreign. Don't get me wrong, Poland is foreign to me... just place some jellied meat (or at Christmas, jellied fish) in front of me, or watch me getting frustrated in the local store that won't take my money because they want exact change and are expecting me to search every pocket, purse, and crevice until I have it, and I'll proclaim I am wholly American. But truth be told, Krakow is a large city, and there's nothing shocking about those to me. In fact more shocking was the four months I spent in Try to find it on a map, Montana (FYI - Libby is on a map. Please don't be offended any of you 2,000 or so Libbyites!) Krakow has malls, fast food, very hip kids, very cool parts of town, and millions of tourists. Millions of tourists = wide knowledge and use of English. Of all the places in Poland to live in as an expat, Krakow is probably the least shocking. (ok, ok... so maybe Warsaw too.)

So taking all of this into account, I expected little "reverse" culture shock as I returned to the States. I even brought a little of Poland with me to make sure it wouldn't happen (my wonderful and handsome Polish fiance, Kris). So what's all this leading up to, you may ask. Well, I think that maybe I experienced reverse culture shock! It was my friend Sheena who brought it to my attention, and Sheena is very smart, so I believe everything she says - unless I know she's wrong. (Love ya, Sheena!) A couple weeks ago when I was visiting Chicago, I went with Sheena to her church small group. Okay, so these people are close because they're a small group, but it was a party not an actual group meeting, AND I already knew some of them, so it wasn't awkward in that regard at all. The culture shock came when I was sitting at the table with these 10 women, and realized that I didn't know how to communicate with them. For the last two years, when I have been in a similar situation, it has always been with a group that is speaking Polish - usually quickly and sometimes with several people trying to talk over each other at once. So there would always come a point when my brain either shut down or I had to focus on one person instead of the whole group. At this small group, I realized that I've forgotten how to jump into an intense discussion, or make some applicable witty comment, or even really focus on what is going on. It's like my mouth was sewn shut and my brain was tuning out. This was distressing to me, and I told Sheena about it when we left. That's when she said to me, "Stella, I think you just experienced culture shock." Like I said, Sheena's smart. I think she's right. So I hope that means someday I will get over this, and I'll be able to communicate freely and intelligently in groups of people again. I hope I'll be able to do that in English AND Polish!

There are other reverse culture shocks I could tell you about. Like how amazing it is to go into a store and not have to plan out how I'm going to say something or worry if I said it right. That's a nice shock. And not REALLY being able to tell people all I want to about Poland, due to my lack of abilities or their lack of desire to hear it. Or missing my Krakow friends. Those are not so great. So it goes.

Anyways, that's all for today. Hopefully I'll have something else to say before next year.